hbilly's LiveJournal

FUTURE-KILL (1985)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 3/5 fun: 2.5/5 suck: 2/5 sex: 1/5 violence: 3/5 thumbs: sideways

Punishment for breaking rules: a group of frats must dress up and kidnap a random punk in a dangerous district of town. Not so happy about them intruders is Splatter (Edwin Neal), chief of some underground society and messed up due to radioactive exposure. Splatter is equipped with a spiked glove and ready to shove deadly pins into annoyance.

FUTURE-KILL has a reputation for reuniting Edwin Neal and Marilyn Burns of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE fame, and for the usage of H.R. Giger designed poster art. The rest is not very inspired, blatantly ripping off scenes from REVENGE OF THE NERDS with nods to THE TERMINATOR. I did like the New Wave ambience though and the fact that one of the frats resembled Jim Carrey in looks and behavior.

Stuff: neck-break, stabbing, stomach poking, human meltdown, street brawl, running, slut sushi, boobs, radioactive blow job, live band performance, pajama dance party, tarred and feathered, dildo joke, throat poking.

The joy of bad cover art.

FLESHBURN (1984)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 0.5/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 1.5/5 thumbs: up

Survival mission: A Native American Vietnam vet named Calvin just broke out of an institute for the criminally insane. He wants to punish those for shutting him away so the vet kidnaps four psychiatrists responsible and sets them free in the desert - without food or water. Sizzle, baby.

How to survive in a hostile environment with up to 120°F of hellish daytime heat? FLESHBURN exhibits all the tips. However, since this is not a Discovery Channel production expect bad language, violence and drama. OK Thriller that could've used a bit more action but its good enough to kill 90 minutes.

Stuff: native American ritual, animal attack, leg-breaking, hole-digging, wildlife footage, stream brawl, scorpion-fu, bound & gagged, shooting, swimming, sun torture, scuffle, religious talk, screaming.

SWEET SIXTEEN (1983)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 2/5 fun: 3.5/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 1/5 violence: 1.5/5 thumbs: up

All the boys love Melissa Morgan but she is the most dangerous new girl in town - all her dates die. A local hellraiser (Don Stroud) blames Native Americans but the Sheriff (Bo Hopkins) is already digging deep in past murder cases. However, a dark secret will surface leaving dead party guests behind at Melissa's sweet 16 birthday bash.

Entertaining mystery slasher with a small Texas town setting. Solid B-Cast, many false accusations and corny moments because of bad theme song. 2/5 cheese rating for that. Worth checking out!

Stuff: shower scene, stabbing, hanging, jail cell knock out, attempted bar fight, tongue fight at funeral, mirror-fu, slow motion candle blow out, wrapping gift joke.

Feature 1 (Toxie's Triple Terror revisited):
BEYOND EVIL (1980)
IMDb / YouTube

Malaysia, 1880. After catching his wife performing black magic, a flabbergasted husband poisons the spouse and bashes her head in with a bottle for good measure.

Malaysia, 1980. Larry (John Saxon) just landed in Southeast Asia for work related business, bringing along his wife Barbara (Linda Day George). Both are welcomed by long time friend Del who shortly after chauffeurs them to their new home - a 100 year old Mansion with a history of haunting. As soon as the couple settles in a ghost from the past starts spinning out of control, possessing Barbara and making her do silly things. In due time Barbara starts flirting with Del and Larry suspects evil having its way. So he seeks help from a local faith healer and together they will exorcise mythical powers, before Barbara atomizes the entire population with energy shooting out her eyes.

Supernatural spook fest with green sci-fi laser beam effects. The zapping hoists the movie into realms of the corny but the rest pretty much delivers steady but dusty terror. John Saxon and Linda Day George make for a great onscreen couple though plus the exotic location is a refreshing change of scenery.

Stuff: gory faith healing, stomach punch, gross infected finger, exploding car, neck break, falling to death, staircase stumble, toppling statue, crushed by falling wood.



Feature 2:
THE HOUSE WHERE EVIL DWELLS (1982)
IMDb / YouTube

Tokyo, 1840. After catching his wife screwing around with another guy, a samurai yanks his sword and mutilates the fornicators before attempting Harakiri.

Tokyo, 1982. Ted (Edward Albert) just arrived in Japan for work related business, bringing along his wife Laura (Susan George) and daughter Amy. They are greeted by long time friend Alex (Doug McClure) who promptly chauffeurs them to their new home - a 200 year old house with a chronology of haunting. As soon as the family settles in specters from the past start spinning out of control, randomly possessing Ted and Laura and making them do silly things. Soon enough Laura starts an affair with Alex and Ted suspects evil having its way. So he seeks help from a local wise man and together they will pull demonic roots before history repeats itself again.

"There's an awful face in my soup!"

Well crafted "J-Horror" with hilarious scenes of the supernatural. The soup incident is a class act hard to follow but the attack of the shouting crabs sequence was nearly as fun. Both movies go well together and share similar themes even though the tight budget shows in BEYOND EVIL ever so often. Recommended double feature.

Stuff: decapitation, flying mask, forced feeding, fistfight, kung fu fight, sword fight, boobs, ghost catching, slow motion massacre, severed arm.

THE OTHER HELL (1981)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1.5/5 fun: 3.5/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 2/5 thumbs: up

Mother Vincenza (Franca Stoppi) has her hands full running a convent and dealing with Father Valerio investigating strange occurrences. Nuns appear to behave most peculiar and there is even talk of possession. When things start to get more and more out of hand Mother Vincenza sees no other option than to confess about past sins.

Supernatural Nunploitation starring Franca Stoppi who became a cult favorite thanks to her involvement in Buio Omega (1979). THE OTHER HELL might come off as any other Italian made rip off out there but with a little patience one will be rewarded with a few unusual twists and turns. Easy going underrated chiller worth a peek.

Stuff: stabbing, dangling mannequins, dog attack, mummified head, hidden hair, choking, weird gardener, animal violence, nightmare confessional, attempted slapping, attempted baby kill, glowing red eyes.

MURDER-ROCK: DANCING DEATH (1984)
(Onscreen title)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 2/5 sex: 2/5 violence: 1.5/5 thumbs: up

Candice (Olga Karlatos) is a part time bitch and full time owner of some artsy dance school in New York ~insert sweaty bodies moving to awful music~ People are auditioning for a part in some dance project but a gloved killer decided to eliminate the competition. Meanwhile Candice is having nightmares of a male model chasing her with a needle. She actually tracks down her dream killer and they start a relationship. In between romance and dancing ~insert FLASHDANCE plagiarism~ murders are still happening with detectives investigating, relying on the latest technology ~insert baffling tech-stuff ala DRESSED TO KILL or BLOW OUT~ to catch the killer. The sizzling finale shall reveal and surprise the audience most likely.

Lucio Fulci's aerobicided thriller might be his most stylish but not his best. Thumbs up for trying though, and for the casting of Olga Karlatos. A stunning beauty most famous for getting her eye pierced by a splinter in Fulci's Zombi (1979). I will remember her however for playing Prince's mother in Purple Rain (1984), even though she was only 11 years older. Sadly she called it the quits two years later.

Stuff: dancing with tears, slapping, boobs, brutal interrogation, paralyzed girl, dead bird.

PATRICK VIVE ANCORA (1980)
(Onscreen title)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 3/5 fun: 4/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 5/5 violence: 4/5 thumbs: up

Patrick still lives but unfortunately he is in a coma. No problem for Patrick's father Professor Herschell, who is nursing Patrick in his own Wellness Resort Center. Herschell somehow sparked the power of telekinesis inside his vegetating son in order to punish those involved in an accident that put Patrick into a coma!

"Screaming women make me nervous"

What do people in a coma want the most? Sex. Patrick's effort to get his freak on with his father's sultry secretary by making her masturbate is quite the jaw dropper. The biggest soda spewer however shows a former prostitute on a kitchen table raped by a floating metal poker. Sick? Yes, but it's one of those rare and unbelievable moments you just don't see very often. Things that Patrick Still Lives taught me: when an oversized fish hook is hanging two inches before your face one just stands there and stares at it for two amazingly long minutes. And yes, people actually mourn naked.

Trivia not listed at IMDb: uses the same building/location seen in Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981).

Stuff: cat fight, gratuitous nudity, nude male butt alert, slapping, butt slapping, electrocution, fridge fright, dog attack, fainting female, car window decapitation, dangling dead body, furniture sex, boiling pool, supernatural telekinesis storm.

THE UNBORN II (1994)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 2/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 1.5/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 2/5 thumbs: up

Linda is a trigger-happy hit woman on the loose, eliminating mutant minors and newborns conceived per evil fertility experiment. Next on her death list is baby Joey who just moved into a new house with his mother Catherine. Catherine is a successful book author made to ignore baby Joey's hideous looks and unaware of his habit of eating neighbors. Time for Linda to open Catherine's eyes.

Speedy Sci-Fi horror about a woman protecting her mutant infant. Add the other woman on a mutant-child execution spree and you pretty much have It's Alive meet The Terminator. Good budget action paired with bad baby monster creation equals brainless fun. And one doesn't have to be familiar with The Unborn (1991) to understand the sequel. Both do more or less their own thing.

Stuff: maternity ward shootout, living room shootout, neck break, mutant baby beating, wound stitching, elevator-fu, falling through ceiling, jumping through window, car chase, exploding house, sexy babysitter, annoying neighbors.

ICE CREAM MAN (1995)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 4/5 fun: 4/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 2.5/5 thumbs: up

Gregory (Clint Howard) a.k.a. The Ice Cream Man is running his own ice cream business after spending most of his life locked up in a mental institution exposed to weird experiments. Kids come running whenever Gregory is making his rounds in his truck, offering delicious flavors such as Rockeyeball Road or Butter Mouse Brittle. When children start to disappear two detectives start snooping about. All evidence lead to Gregory but he is already in the midst of creating the ultimate ice cream flavor.

"Not everyday is a happy happy happy day"

I thought it was funny when the Detectives yelled "freeze" at the Ice Cream Man.
This chilly Pied Piper-esque children's adventure not meant for children shines with gross food preparation and silly slasher thrills. My favorite scene shows the decapitated head of David "American Werewolf" Naughton served on an ice cream cone. Another great moment shows Jan-Michael Vincent as one of the detectives escaping a mental asylum. One of the most unspectacular action sequence underlined with one of the most bombastic scores. Hilarious.

Stuff: flashback, shooting, foot chase in supermarket, shopping cart escape, needle injection, fistfight, hot waffle iron torture, eyeball chewing, popsicle corpse, dog grinding.

SAVAGE ISLAND (2003)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 1.5/5 violence: 2.5/5 thumbs: up

Twisted Justice: When Julia and her husband visit the family on an island the reunion turns into a fight for survival. Julia's brother accidentally killed a Savage child. The Savages are old school hillbillies and demand Julia's new born baby in exchange for their dead son.

Solid backwoods bleeder shot on digital video with slasher-like action, deranged drama and a nice atmospheric location. Had this been shot on real film it would've had more impact I think but, they still did the best they could. Good job.

Stuff: tongue-severing, impalement, hillbilly wedding, hillbilly graveyard, forced sex, drugged sex, stabbing, throat slitting, shooting.

DARK CORNERS (2006)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1/5 fun: 3.5/5 suck: 0.5/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 2.5/5 thumbs: up

When worlds collide: Susan is living the happy life with the husband, except for not being able to get pregnant. After artificial insemination discomforting nightmares of another life emerge. In those dreams Susan is grungy Karen working at a morgue and haunted by a sadistic serial killer. Karen on the other hand is slightly confused dreaming about neat Susan's sterile life. It appears that Karen is not a dream after all which not really matters to the serial killer as he is about to visit both.

One could get lost in the "who is who" set up leaving one guessing to the very end. And even the ending reveals more surprises.

I didn't expect much from DARK CORNERS after learning that this Thora Birch movie went straight to DVD and on top of that, is presented in non-anamorphic widescreen. Lots of no-good-signs right there. Turned out to be decent after all.

Stuff: puking, sudden gushing period, corpse erection, fishing in toilet, strangulation, throat slitting, stomach stabbing, blood splatter, filing teeth, fainting female.

Coming attractions of new DVD releases for the month of July.





Zoe Bell
Night Stalker
(2009)
a.k.a.
Angel of Death

Full Moon's
Evil Bong II: King Bong
(2009)

Joe D'Amato's
Horrible
(1981)
a.k.a.
Absurd
a.k.a.
Monster Hunter

Barbara Bach
Island of Fishmen
(1979)
a.k.a.
Screamers

Bigfoot
in
The Wild Man of the Navidad
(2008)

There will be no sequel
Skeleton Crew
(2009)

Lance Henriksen and Danny Trejo
Necessary Evil
(2008)

HITCH HIKE TO HELL (1977)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1/5 fun: 3.5/5 suck: 2/5 sex: 1.5/5 violence: 2/5 thumbs: up

Howard loves his mother. In fact, Howard loves everybody as long as they love mother. Howard also loved his sister but she ran away from home six years ago. Howard snapped, and is now on a murderous mission to rape and strangle runaway hitch hikers not loving mother.

What we have here is one of the most repetitive movies ever. Howard goes to work. Howard delivering dry cleaned clothes to customers in his van. Then he picks up a hitch hiker. Then he kills the hitch hiker. Then he returns late to work coming up with retarded excuses for his boss. Then he goes home where mother is waiting with dinner. Howard usually don't eat much but whines a lot. He then drinks a can of root beer whiles doing his hobby (building toy cars) in his room, followed by gruesome flashbacks of murder. Repeat that three or four times and you are pretty much experiencing Groundhog Day - The Psychopath Version. As unbelievable this may sound, HITCH HIKE TO HELL is actually watchable and not in a train wreck sort of way. There is something decent and captivating hidden underneath layers of cheap sleaze, badly executed violence towards women and the uber annoyance of the nerdy serial killer Howard. A true Something Weird classic.

Stuff: boobs, strangulation, rape without movement, investigating detectives, bad parents, dessert talk, gay comedic relief, dead body toss, cool theme song.

SWAMP DEVIL (2008)
IMDb / April Cheese
cheese: 1/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 1.5/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 2/5 thumbs: up

Wetland Crisis: Pretty Melanie returned to her backwoods hometown to support her fugitive father Howard (Bruce Dern) accused of murder. Melanie hooks up with local mystery hunk Jimmy and is cured of severe headache by Jimmy's lovely mother Shelly - who has the gift of healing by touching. But when more dead bodies pile up Howard is no longer a suspect. As it turns out rumors of a slaying Swamp Devil spooking the marsh might be true after all.

Acceptable TV production about two young people entangled in a blooming romance. However, once the CGI beast is unleashed one is promptly reminded of what SWAMP DEVIL is really about - a walking tree on a killing spree and not WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. Had its weak spots but still better than the usual bulk.

Stuff: dirty footprints, exploding car, drowning, dangling dead body, flashback, dirty hands, vigilante mob, city limits showdown.

BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR (1989)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 2/5 fun: 3/5 suck: 1/5 sex: 1/5 violence: 3/5 thumbs: up

Suppressing dreams is a bad thing. Student Ben has been repressing nightmares all his young life with fatal results. Now an evil force from beyond enters Ben's reality bringing back his old nightmares and transforming them into a deadly weapon. People around Ben die but not only that, their pure existence is wiped clean as well. When Ben finds a torn page about a similar nightmare case that happened 20 years ago, evil starts pulling all sorts of ghastly strings in order to obtain said piece of paper.

Student project that was intended for a straight to video release and drew minor media attention in local news back in 1988. BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR is based on Lovecraft insanity and is quite the unusual horror experience. With a budget of $60,000 director Jay Woelfel managed to expand his short film of the same title into a feature length fantasy nightmare with remarkable results. Not overly well acted but their hearts were in the right places.

Stuff: headless body walk, mystery dialogue, blood filled balloon, blood splatter, boobs, shredded corpse, flying page, attacking book with teeth.

Check list of first time viewed movies watched between January - June 2009 that got the thumbs up rating. Potential Mold Award 2010 Nominees and a few sure bet winners right here.

Lady Streetfighter (1985) Genre: Action Synopsis: Female detective avenges dead sister. The Traveler (2006) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Supernatural being torments thrill seekers. Demon Under Glass (2002) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Authorities capture Vampire. Space Mutiny (1988) Genre: Sci-Fi Synopsis: Pilot fights corruption on space ship. No Dead Heroes (1986) Genre: Action Synopsis: Soldier runs amok. Demon Witch Child (1975) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Child possessed by witch. Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Angela returns to slaughter campers. The Manster (1959) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Mad Scientist creates freak show. Charlie's Death Wish (2005) Genre: Action Synopsis: Stripper avenges dead sister. Ninja in the Claws of the CIA (1982) Genre: Action Synopsis: Ninjas double crossed. Madhouse (1981) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Evil sister causes trouble. The Poseidon Explosion (1973) Genre: Action Synopsis: Burning ship disaster. Return of the Tiger (1979) Genre: Action Synopsis: Ninja busts drug cartel. Psycho Beach Party (2000) Genre: Comedy Synopsis: Serial killer spoils beach party. Future Force (1989) Genre: Action Synopsis: Future cop versus corruption. Razortooth (2007) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Giant eel on feeding frenzy. Chupacabra Terror (2005) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Legendary cryptid running wild on cruise ship. Slash (2002) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Rock star encounters death on a farm. The House on Skull Mountain (1974) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Last will turns into death list. Mongrel (1982) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Dog creature on killing spree in apartment building. Vicious Lips (1987) Genre: Sci-Fi Synopsis: Female rock band stranded on desert planet. Quiet Fire (1991) Genre: Action Synopsis: Ex-Nam soldier versus corruption. Cemetery Girls (1972) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Evil doctor turns women into Vampires. No Man's Land: The Rise of Reeker (2008) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Evil being slashing trapped people. The Uninvited (2009) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Mental stepdaughter versus wicked stepmother. Vampire Hookers (1978) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Sailors battle Vampires. Heat Street (1987) Genre: Action Synopsis: Over-the-hill boxer versus street thugs. Serial Killer (2002) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Serial killer keeps video diary of his victims. The Jar (1984) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Evil genie not granting three wishes. Terror on Alcatraz (1986) Genre: Thriller Synopsis: Ex-con on treasure hunt. Skinned Alive (1990) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Insane family settle in rural neighborhood. Toe Tags (2003) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Detectives hunt apartment complex serial killer. Black Swarm (2007) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Mutated wasps attack town. Evil Laugh (1988) Genre: Horror Synopsis: Mass murder returns to kill students fixing old house. The Shark Hunter (1979) Genre: Action Synopsis: Undercover agent on treasure hunt in shark infested waters. Two Idiots in Hollywood (1988) Genre: Comedy Synopsis: Two idiots in Hollywood.

Feature 1 (Toxie's Triple Terror revisited):
SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM (1969)
IMDb / YouTube

Student Janet is into Arts, drugs and twitching her butt at groovy Shindigs with her clique. All could be fine and dandy if it wasn't for the horribly disfigured man interrupting Janet's splendid lifestyle. One fine day Janet disappears and her boyfriend Jason suspects foul play. And yes, Jason will unveil many disturbing things along the way.

"My mouth feels like the bottom of a bird cage"

Psychedelic horror about an artist performing sinister experiments on young girls in order to retain handsomeness. Or something like that. Hard to tell because SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM hardly made sense. Either way, this LSD-like happening is quite the rush and fun to watch.

Stuff: acid trip, bad acid trip, acid trip at the zoo, pot smoking, excessive dancing at nightclub, live band performance, fistfight, flashback, memory flashback, gazebo-dancing, soft sex, semi-nude Janet, bad paintings, needle injection into throat, strapped on stretcher.




Feature 2:
SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN (1970)
IMDb / YouTube

Two Detectives hot on the "Vampire Killer" case capture a suspect but he escapes and jumps into a pool of acid after severing his own hand cuffed to a car. Apparently the suspect was a synthetic being with super human strength. Investigation lead to a sinister Doctor (Vincent Price) manufacturing synthetics out of human body parts!

"Yes, I'm a composite too!"

Weird Horror with an all star cast consisting of Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee and Vincent Price. There is a rather long and not very exciting chase sequence taking up nearly 20 minutes of screen time, but the rest keeps things interesting by connecting three at first glance different story lines like a puzzle. The most astonishing fact was how well both movies actually gel. Each begins with a man running with fear during the title sequence with a nearly identical editing technique. Both men even end up in a hospital. Coincidence? Another similarity can be found in the acid theme, which is used to expand the human mind in SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM and to extinct the human body in SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN.

Stuff: acid dip, bad acid dip, acid dip at a farm, excessive dancing at a nightclub, live band performance, fistfight, semi-nude females, attempted brain surgery, Vincent Price Vs. Christopher Lee, nurse knock out, blood sucking, Vulcan nerve pinch.

HYDRA (2009)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 1.5/5 fun: 2.5/5 suck: 1.5/5 sex: 0/5 violence: 3/5 thumbs: sideways

The Most Dangerous Game with a twist: Rich people hunt human prey on an uncharted island for the thrill of it all. A bigger predator awaits in form of a giant serpent though - Hydra, the Greek legendary creature, is still slithering about with an enormous appetite. It got three heads to feed so them hunting and to be hunted are a more than welcomed snack.

Torn limbs and flying body parts dipped in blood, the usual grue swirled in a shiny and slick TV creation with lush CGI and cardboard characters spouting lines beyond good or bad. In other words, harmless eye candy with the occasional MST3K mock-opportunity.

Stuff: sucker punch, spiked leg, shooting, sinking ship, sword-fu, dumb blonde bimbo, rape attempt, tied to tree, cave terror, computer-fu.

CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE (1980)
IMDb / YouTube
cheese: 2/5 fun: 3.5/5 suck: 1.5/5 sex: 0.5/5 violence: 3/5 thumbs: up

Appetizer: Hopper (John Saxon) just arrived in Nam per stock footage Helicopter to save buddy Bukowski (Giovanni Lombardo Radice) trapped by the enemy in a cage. After the obligatory massacre Hopper finds Bukowski gnawing the remains of a half roasted woman.

Main Course: Years later and Hopper is still haunted by the war. When Bukowski is released from the psychiatric ward he goes on a bite-happy chewing spree infecting people with a cannibalistic virus. Hopper, battling inhuman hunger himself, joins his buddy and soon engage in a war against authorities.

Dessert: Delicious Italian Action served with Horror. It is cheap fast food but easy to digest. Highlight include Hopper's underage and oversexed neighbor Mary trying to get her freak on and the movie's final taking place in the sewers. I should also point out the blaxploitated score. Good & funky.

Stuff: neck biting, shooting, street-fistfight, human flesh carving, exploding dog, woman in flames, guts spilling, gratuitous shirtless John Saxon, hair dryer-fu, belly biting, semi-sex at the Theater.